How to Survive a Staycation
My toys were well and truly being thrown out the pram but you do not book a UK holiday without expecting the weather to play a part. Of course you hope and pray for sunshine. At one point we were praying for drizzle. Anything but that sound of heavy, heavy rain. It was all a bit Marti Pellow but that doesn’t fit with my Abba theme so no more talk of Wet Wet Wet.
Here are my top tips for keeping sane if you are taking on a Staycation this year:
The Winner Takes It All Book somewhere the nuts. Our farmhouse for the week was beautiful and we had enough space to escape each other if needed. I had found the beautiful @swallowsflight I initially tried to book the Airsteam and Granary but thank the lord they were booked already and despite me having a little paddy about it at the time, the owner Lucy (who is so wonderfully lovely) offered us the Farmhouse. The most beautiful, huge, stylish farmhouse you eve did see. We did play cards and do crosswords but the most important thing it had was wifi. In Devon, wifi is vital. So during the rain we were all lost in our screens. It is not the holiday of your dreams but it was worked.
S.O.S Be ready to hate your family for the first 48 hours. This is something I always forget as you finish a holiday with that heady glow of playing happy families. This holiday it smacked me in the face like a bitch. Settling in and learning to like each other with a pool and sunshine in Tuscany is one thing. Devon is beautiful. In the sunshine. On the sunny beach days with my family. I loved them.
Take a Chance on Me Ignore the weather apps as much of Devon lives under a cloud of GPRS and E which I have worked out means the weather men have no idea what the climate will be. At the drop of a hat just drive. Take a chance on any patch of blue sky or even a glimmer of light. Just drive. Head to the beach. Chase the sunshine. Check tide times the night before. They get those right and they are pretty crucial.
Waterloo (Read on the get the loo reference) Hire Wetsuits. I know when we were younger we went in in just our cozzies. We were made of stronger stuff. We spent whole days at the beach thanks to wetsuits. We were blessed with 3.75 days of sunshine but that sea is cold. If you want a little more chair time hire the wetsuits. You will not regret it. If I managed to get my arse into one. You all can. You all should. And it is true about the wee.
Mamma Mia Do not forget the suncream. Like the brilliant Mother I am, I covered the kids (may have forgotten Oscars feet which he hasn’t gone on and on about at all). Why do kids, even teens moan so much about the sun cream. Every time I tell them I will just leave it then and let them burn. I tell them about the time I was so badly burnt I blistered as a kid (never did but I try and scare the shit out of them). Like the dutiful wife I am I did the Hubsters back. His chest hair protest the front. I only went and forgot to put cream on myself. Burnt my legs so badly they were on fire. Every night. For three nights my sunburn kept me awake. Also. That wind in Devon is a bastard. Do not be fooled. Smother yourself like Casper the ghost.
Money Money Money Have change for car parks. No scrap that. Have tonnes of cash for car parks. Since when did beach car parks charge £8 a day!
Head over Heels (No I had not heard of this one either but just got Alexa to play it and it is def Abba) Surfing lessons in Devon are worth it whatever the weather. I can say this as we booked in advance with Bantham Surf School and after 48 hours of torrential rain the sun shone down on us and our lesson had perfect conditions. I am sure if you are freezing cold in the pouring rain it would have been just as much fun??!
Slipping Through My Fingers If in doubt, go crabbing. Crabbing is always the answer. Not with a hangover though. Crabbing is by far one of the worst things to attempt when hanging. Firstly it involves stinky vomit inducing bait. Secondly your children will frighten the shit out of you as they lean like Keanu Reeves in The Matrix over the quayside. Thirdly, its crabs. The kids will be in two camps. Scared to touch them meaning you have to be brave and hold the nippy little feckers. Or they will be fearless and chase you with the biggest one they catch. Such fun.
Voulez Vous Lastly and most importantly. Find a distillery. Lucked out with @salcombegin. The Marmojito was a holiday highlight. Now plotting a return. Sans kids. I’m all about the kids. A distillery is no place for kids. Gimme Gimme Gimme more Salcombe Gin!
I bloody love a Staycation. We said it over and over when we were sitting in the sunshine on the beach. You simply can’t beat it.
Current Google Search – Croatian Villa Holidays Summer 2018
NB I have no idea why I felt the need to inject a little Abba tribute to this post. Who needs a reason, it’s Abba.