Blog Theme Tune: Freedom by George Michael. Never the version by Robbie. I loved him back then but it was not a great time for him. Always George. Bless him.
I have not weighed myself for two weeks. I REPEAT. I have not weighed myself for two weeks. Not once. This is big. Huge. Epic.
14 DAYS OF FREEDOM. I do not know what I weigh. No idea. I do not even care!! I used to weigh myself after a poo so this is actually big news in my world.
My bathroom scales controlled me and I knew every time I stepped on them it was a mistake. It would set my mood for the day either putting a spring in my step or sinking me into sadness. Over numbers. Just numbers. My whole life basically controlled by something that honestly should mean nothing.
Yet here I am and without thinking, without any effort I have given them up. For two whole weeks, maybe more. I did not tell myself I am not weighing. I have not hidden the scales as I have tried many many times. Mr INPO has gone to great lengths to hide them in the past. The wondrous being that is Mary Meadows even has a vid of her wrapping her scales up in a box and hiding them in the shed as a form of therapy! I remember watching in horror never thinking I could part with them. Yet I have. I only bloody have.
Such was their control I was attached to them and yet daily they broke me. Like the most toxic relationship you can imagine. They are upstairs now. I can visualise them in the bathroom but they have lost their magic powers. They do not call me or tempt me.
Come here my pretty I bet you have lost lots of fabulous weight and your world will be so much brighter. You will be prettier, have more money, get a flash car.
Step on. 2lbs on.
Whaaaaaaaaaaa. Insert evil laughter. You are so fat, ugly and useless. You pathetic human. I knew I could make you stand on them and feel shit about yourself. You are so weak, pathetic and not worthy of your fabulous life.
Mr Shitbag on my shoulder had full control of those scales BUT and this is a Big BUT (I like Big Butts and I cannot lie – it has be sung doesn’t it?) just a little bit of exercise a day has made him such a feeble man of late. I have the power. I have literally zapped his energy and it feels beyond awesome.
Well screw you scales. Two weeks of freedom and I feel on top of the fucking world. That my friends, is what exercise can do. It can free your mind. It can simply offer you freedom.
Sometimes I am running for just 11 minutes when I do the 1 mile loop around the block. In that time I listen to music and obviously do a little lip syncing. I am not thinking about life admin or boring shit. I am often dreaming. Thinking of anything lovely to stop me realising my body really bloody hates this running lark.
Freedom from the noise of every day life. We have a lot of noise in our house. Music blaring (usually mine), PS4 noise as boys do not understand that when wearing headsets they do not have to scream so loud the entire universe can hear them, Mum noise – you know that constant Mum where are my netball trainers, Mum what time is dinner, Mum I need toilet roll, Mum Mum Mum Mum. Mum noise.
So this running lark will continue. Not every day. I think every single runner taking part in @runeverydayjanuary knows that is too painful but I am looking forward to just running.
Like I have said previously not everyone is running to become a runner. Some of us are just running.
So I am going to continue. Not every day. That is just silly. Once a week I will run with someone and we will do our silly thing and then I will write you a blog post about that person. The stories that unfold as I have been running with these Instagram friends have been heart breaking, heart warming, empowering and just down right wonderful. So I will be sharing some with you.
But first I want to know who you want me to run with? Who would be your Instagram favourite and what would be their song choice??
Lastly. I know. I have waffled. Thank you. You have all taken my little bit of bonkers and run with it. Every message, every comment honestly puts a spring in my step. Ok, still no actual spring but you get my drift.