5 Weird Health Crazes We Will NEVER understand
We all love a health craze as much as the next gym bunny but some of these quite literally take the piss. No really. Urine? More like ur-off your trolley!
- Walking like an Egyptian is one thing but I doubt The Bangles would have drunk their own wee-wee. Auto-urine therapy or urotherapy dates back to the Egyptians and even The Bible: Proverbs 5:15, “Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well“. Urine is a bi-product of blood filtration – 95% Water and five per cent nutrients packed with goodness. Those who dare to swallow claim it cures all sorts but nothing is proven. Perhaps they are simply taking the pi**…. #bladdered
- If it is good enough for Harry Styles and Victoria Beckham then we have to have it, must try it, when, where, how? The Geisha Facial leaves your skin with a healthy shine – fabulous book me in. The treatments wings its way from Japan where they call it uguisu no fun– translated – Nightingale Faeces. Great, I can do next Tuesday….. WAIT – Bird Faeces!? Seriously!? Hellllooooooooooo – Bird Poo? Named the Geisha Facial because Geishas used it to remove the heavy zinc and lead based make-up and found it softened the skin. How? How do you realise poop from a Japanese Nightingale softens the skin? Perhaps they were lucky and got dumped from above. Some say being pooped on is a sign of good luck and major wealth is being dropped on you from heaven. (In my head I have the voice of Mr Miyagi from Karate Kid, “You must smear bird poo, DanielSon. Super soft skin you will have” – Oops he has turned into Yoda). Perhaps smearing bird poo on your face means super pooper wealth – a lottery win? You would need it for this treatment at £180 a plop.
- Feeling a little stressed at the thought of all that bird poo? How about a massage? Release the tension, tenderise those veins, breakdown the cellulose structure, rub until your leaves darken, shrink and look silky. What? Leaves? We are no longer just being told to eat your greens we now have to massage them? Massage your kale and it will be you who reaps the benefits turning this bitter veg into something sweet and silky. #kalespa
- So many decisions when having a baby. Home Birth? Water Birth? Drugs? Baby Name? Placenta Smoothie or Placenta Burger? Yes just what you need when you have spent hours pushing out something too big for a small hole – afterbirth! The health benefits? There is no proven reason to eat your afterbirth but people who have a taste for placenta believe it helps keeping post natal depression at bay. I would suggest a box of Maltesers would do the same job.
- Back to facials. Kim Kardashian loves a Vampire Facial where they take your blood, play with it and then inject it back in your face. Simon Cowell loves a sheep Placenta Facial – enough with the placenta already!!!! I find this one hard to swallow though – a Sperm Facial. Life coach Stella Ralfini swears by it and in her low lighting YouTube video she tells us all we need is a clean and healthy lover and we should “scoop” up our Sperm Facial after our “beautiful love-making” is finished and rub on our face every 10 days and you too could look younger in soft, subtle lighting. #ratherusenivea